My Dam Run

I ran Dam to Dam yesterday! For those of you who aren't familiar with Des Moines, Dam to Dam is an annual run that goes from Saylorville Lake north of town to downtown Des Moines (dams in both locations... go figure). It ends up being 12.42 miles. It's kind of a big deal around these parts, especially this year, because it was the 30th anniversary. And it was kind of a big deal for me, because it was my first time running it. And it was my second official long run ever (the first one shouldn't even count it went so badly). So I rolled out of bed at 4:45 a.m. Saturday morning, when most sane people are still curled up in their cozy comforters dreaming about Brandon Flowers (maybe that's just specific to me) and sort of kind of brushed my teeth - I don't really do anything well at 4:45 in the morning - and picked out the flavors of GU that I thought would be most likely to not wind up in a regurgitated splatter on the pavement. Those would be Lemon-Lime, Orange Vanilla and Espresso Love, for those of you keeping track. We were just about ready to leave the house when I noticed that I had an alarming new vent in my pants running from crotch to mid-thigh. Where the hell did that come from, and how long have I been running in them like that?! Luckily, it was along the seam so I was able to stitch it up real quick. I bet not many of you were up at 5:15 a.m. on Saturday doing a little sewing. I have to say I'm jealous.

After that minor crisis, we headed for another one: NO COFFEE PLACES WERE OPEN. At this

point it was after 5:30, and not one damn gas station was open so I could grab a cup of coffee! Starbucks wasn't even open, and they're supposed to open at 5:30! I was not a happy camper for two reasons - 1., I wanted that cup of coffee for the burst of energy it gives you before a run. Studies have

shown that it's really helpful. 2., I'm a major addict and was pretty sure my massive, blinding, lack-of-caffeine headache would take me out of the race by the half-mile marker if I didn't ingest something caffeinated. I. Was. Cranky. And Starbucks, I am PISSED at you. Not pissed enough to not get a java chip frap after the race yesterday, but pissed nonetheless.

Anyway, I had no choice but to get on the bus to take me out to Saylorville without my cup o' joe. The bus ride was kind of excruciating, because as it takes you further and further away from downtown Des Moines, you can't help but think, "I have to RUN all of this?" Downtown passes by, I-80 passes by, Johnston passes by, suddenly you're in the country, and you realize that you're going to have to run back through all of it. Kind of daunting. But then you get to Saylorville and the crowd of people all gathered for the same cause - to murder their knees and provoke exercise-induced asthma - kind of makes you forget all of the running.

It's just cool that there were more than 7,000 people all willing - all excited, even - to suffer through the same thing. That's them in the first picture, waiting to use to the kybos.

So the race started at 7:00 sharp, but I didn't cross the start mat until 7:05 and some change. They very wisely group you by your predicted finish time, so people with yellow bibs are the super fast competitors and are grouped at the front; people with green are quick runners grouped in the middle; people with blue are average runners grouped near the back, etc. I was a Blue. I will probably always be a Blue. The picture on the above right is what the starting line looks like from the perspective of a Blue.

So, here's a brief synopsis of how the run went:

Mile 1: Just barely across the dam. Body: "That was awesome! 11 more of these, are you kidding? Piece of cake!" Brain: "You have no idea what you're talking about. Just STFU and keep moving, please."

Mile 2: Body: "I'm awesome!!!!" Brain: "I SAID SHUT IT."

Mile 3: Body: "Did she say 33:something minutes? Minus my five since I didn't actually start until 7:05, that's like 9:30 miles! Go me!!" Brain: "Yeah, just do this three more times and we're good to go." Body: "...did you say THREE more times?"

Mile 6: Crossing I-80, which is the picture above. At this point I was still under 10-minute miles. Maybe that's not great for some people, but for me to sustain an under-10 for six miles is really good. Brain: "YES!!! We are doing great!!" Body: "I'm not so sure about that..."

Mile 7: Brain: "Hey! Civilization!" Body: "Is civilization going to help us finish this race?"

Brain: "...No?" Body: [groans]

Mile 8: Body: "WTF IS THAT HILL." Brain: "You run steeper hills than this all of the time. Just keep plugging away and you'll make it." Body: "I run steeper hills than this TWO MILES into our run, not EIGHT. Fuck it, we're walking it."

Mile 9: Brain: "It's so nice that all of these people showed up to cheer us on!" Body: "ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE CAN DIE."

Mile 10: Brain: "Two more miles!! That's nothing!" Body: "Technically it's 2.42 miles. I'm not stupid. And I'm no longer speaking to you."

Mile 11: Brain: "OK, quit your bitching. Here's some GU to get you through the last little bit." Body: "Mmm, espresso!! This is the best-tasting GU I've ever had! Or perhaps I'm just delirious!" Also, I got Mardi Gras beads at mile 11. And I didn't even have to show my boobs. No one would have wanted to see my boobs at that point anyway.

Mile 11.42: We got little cups of champagne to celebrate the "One Mile To Go!" mark. My body and my brain had stopped speaking to one another at this point.

Mile 12: Brain: This is 12? We have .42 to go? Why does the finish line seem so far away? Are you SURE it's less than half a mile away? There are a lot of people standing here, I guess we must be close, but it seems a lot farther away than that..." Body: "LET'S DO THIS!!!"

Mile 12.41: Body: "Did they move the finish line? I think it was closer a minute ago." Brain: "JUST GO!"

Mile 12.43: Brain: "Ooh! Shiny!" Body: "Ow."

So, that was my race.

I finished in about 2:13, which was a couple of minutes faster than my goal. I was shooting for 2:15. Next year I want to try to get in under two hours. I'm not a great runner - I'm never going to finish in the top three or the top 10 or even place in my age group. But for a girl who has never been athletic and has always been a little (a lot) self-conscious about her weight, finishing Dam to Dam under goal is a pretty proud achievement. And it turns out maybe I am a little bit athletic... just not in team sports :)

Speaking of weight, here's what I ate with no guilt whatsoever after my run yesterday:

• 1 bottle of ice blue Gatorade
  
• Half of a brick-sized Rice Krispie treat from Trader Joe's
  
• A tall java chip frap from Starbucks. Not light (no whip, though)
• A piece of chocolate bundt cake
• French fries
• Shrimp
• Scallops
• Cheddar Bay Biscuits (yes... we had a Red Lobster gift card. What can I say?)
• Half of a cherry Icee
• A garden salad

It would have been more, but I opted for a nap between about 12:30 and 3:00 which cut into my eating time. :)

Ooh, one more thing: the LUSH Wiccy Magic Muscles Massage Bar has been my hero the past two days. It is some good shit. It's got aduki beans that feel good on your skin when you rub it over sore muscles, and the bar itself has cinnamon and peppermint that sinks into your skin to soothe the aches. It's the reason I'm not walking like John Wayne after a three-day horse ride today. It's kind of like upscale Icy-Hot, and it moisturizes, too. SO GOOD. Pricey, but definitely worth it.